Glimpse.

Here is a glimpse at my day

I am thinking.... so much to catch up on this week. I've been just maintaning for about a month and things are starting to need attention.

I am feeling.... very "blue" in a way. You see, Jeremiah is 4 weeks today! He will be a month old on Thursday! I can't believe it and it makes me sad.

I am hearing.....my children play and fill this house with their voices. And when I say fill I mean fill. We are working on using quiet gentle voices and it is a slow lesson!

I am cooking...chicken tortilla soup and homemade bread.

I am cleaning....mopping my floors and a couple loads of laundry.

I am teaching.... lots of history reading today while I nurse and journal entries about a Christmas wish they have.

Outside my window.....it is grey and cold and windy. The perfect winter day.

In my heart... I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for all my blessings and praying for all those who are still walking that NICU road. I want to help in some physical way. I am seeking God's guidance on how.

I am making....Jeremiah a scarf to match his hat that I made him. Hoping to finish it today and move on to Christmas gifts.

Verse for today.... “But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives” - 2 Peter 3:10-11


How will I use today, even within these four walls of my home to be the kind of woman that God wants me to be? How will I touch these hearts and train these young lives to live for His kingdom?

A Picture Thought......
 
These two brothers look a lot alike!
 

#1

#2

Can you guess who is who?

Smile.

As someone who has always loved tiny babies and always wanted to be a mommy to many, I find myself often smiling. You see, I come from a family of four with two sisters, my brother and I. My brother wasn't adopted until I was in sixth and he was in K. And my sisters and I were all born within three years of each other. So, I never really had any "babies" in the house growing up. While my parents did do foster care when I was a teenager I was already in college and driving and just not home much at that point. So why do I say all this? And what makes me smile?

My girls do.

I know how much I would have loved to have a baby in the house when I

was younger.

And watching them have that experience is amazing! They all love him and can't get enough of him!

I love watching them "love" on him. I giggle when they ask if they can play house with him. And I just keep thinking that I would have been the same way if my momma had brought a new baby home when I was a young girl!

Raising a big family has many perks and this is just one of them, watching your children love each other and find pure joy in a new life!

Snuggly, Sleepy Saturday.

Life in our house right now.......

Oh the Boppy!

This pillow has so many uses and I love it.

So does Jeremiah!

One of my favorite things right now.

I love my Moby!!!

I have been looking forward to wearing Jeremiah in it for months.

It is one of my top baby "must have's" now!

I love these fleeting newborn snuggles. I just can't get enough.

And neither can she!

She is always asking to hold and to help.

It is always a toss up as to who will hold him or get him when he fusses.

Newborn Goodness

Sleepy newborn.

Tiny Feet.

Snuggling sweetness.

Nursing joys.

Perfect.

We are settling in well and everyone is adjusting. Jeremiah is proving to be an awesome baby. He sleeps and eats and harldy cries at all. I am already getting the itch to start school again and get back on routine. Something I didn't expect until after Thanksgiving. I am totally loving having a newborn to snuggle and nurse and kiss on.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers during the past weeks. They mean so much to me and my family.

Forever

I have sat down to try to write this post several times and haven't found the words. I am determined this time. To write down something. Anything. To help me remember and to never forget. It happened just a little over a week ago now. It happened for the second time in my life. Two times more than any mother should ever experience, but it happens all the time every day.

I saw my child fighting for his life.

I didn't know what the next minute held.

Would it hold life? or death?

Facing that kind of situation is overwhelming to say the least.

Just writing these words brings tears to my cheeks. But I don't ever want to forget. I will write my feelings. I will record my thoughts. I "want" to. I might not want to right now, but I want to for later. You see that NICU is full of mothers going through the same thing as I have. None of us know what tomorrow brings for our family. And I don't ever want to forget or grow unfeeling to mommas in this situation.

I will never forget the smell. The lights. The nurses. The doctors. They saved my babies. I still remember Josiah's nurses and doctors like it was yesterday. I can see the room he was in and the other babies that were around him. I have not forgotten. I know I will never forget Jeremiah's either.

I am forever endebted to them for a lifetime. A life. My son's life. How could I forget?

But more so, I am forever grateful to my Heavenly Father for choosing to heal my boys. It was Him really. He used some amazing people to do it but it was all Him. That is how, just a week later and now I sit and cuddle my newborn son on my chest, who just a week ago was hooked up to machines that were helping him breathe.

And I can't begin to put into words the peace that He gave me during this valley. I have never felt His peace so real. His arms so strong. And His comfort so abiding as I did last week. It still takes my breath away. I am still speechless. I want to write about it. I want to be able to come back and be reminded of His faithfulness to me. But I don't even know how to capture it in words. My heart is so full. My spirit so overwhelmed. Why me? Why did He choose me to walk this road a second time? Did I fulfill His purpose? Did I speak of Him enough? Did I touch the life I was supposed to? He was so faithful to me, was I to Him? I pray that I was. I give praise that He was.

So, today, I write this to remind me, to tell others, and to encourage all.

God is faithful in the lowest of valleys. God is faithful at the bedside of my child and He is faithful in my home and marriage. He is faithful all the time. People are hurting, people are seeking, and people need love. How can I justify that my boys were healed when so many mommas leave that NICU with empty arms. I can't. It isn't my place. But I know that my God is faithful and His ways are perfect and I must never take for granted my healthy children, my full arms and my messy floor. For there are many families with just an empty hole. So much hurt. So close to home. It could have been me.

My God gave peace, my God chose life for my sons.

I am forever grateful.

Plans

I plan to write about Monday - Wednesday of our hospital stay at another time. I can't seem to find the time or energy right now but I couldn't wait to show off this little man!!!

He looks so much better now without all those tubes and wires!

Jeremiah Sikes

11-02-2010

8lbs 4oz

20inches

Monday Update

Sorry I didn't post this yesterday but after I got to Jeremiah's room and we all visited with him and had a snack in the Ronald McDonald room and I sent my family off to Aunt Erin's for the night my body CRASHED. I don't know that I have ever felt that tired! But after a night's worth of interupted sleep, I am feeling much better. Jeremiah is doing well this morning. He has been started on 10cc (1/2 oz) feedings every 3 hrs and he is letting these nurses know this morning that it is not enough!! There are a couple things that will be checked this morning and then hopefully we will be increasing that. He is also going to get dressed today and get a new big boy bed!! I can't wait to see the look on is sisters' faces when they get here tonight!!
Here are some pictures of the much anticipated first old! This was also the first time we were all seven in the same room! Daddy was behind the camera and momma was so very happy to have all her blessings around her.

 

Just looking at Josiah's face makes me think "Oh great and now I have another one!!!"

Saturday Update

Just a quick update as I am very tired this evening. Most of us are resting at home this evening. I got home around 1pm this afternoon. It is nice to be here. I have called three times now to check on Jeremiah and there isn't anyone gonna make me feel bad for it!!! I can't wait to blog about this day and the peace that passes all understanding that I have experienced in a mind blowing way today. My God is so good!

I just talked to his nurse and as of right now, he is breathing room air, is off the sedation medicine and waking up nicely. And in just a few hours he will be taken off the ventilator. If he does well with that he will be in my arms about 30 seconds after I hit is room tomorrow!!!! With the way that God is working and Jeremiah is fighting I am so hopeful that he will be home by the middle of the week.

I will try to keep you all updated this week as he makes progress. I should be able to get more pictures now. He has been very sensitive to light and we have kept the room dark all week so pictures weren't an option. But I can't wait to share him with you. Thanks for all your prayers and love!!!

Friday Morning

Well, this morning brings some smiles to my face as I walked into Jeremiah's pod and was greeted by great numbers, lower oxygen settings, and a great morning chest x-ray. It doesn't look as if he will have to have that bigger chest tube put in. The hole in his lung seems to have already healed and resolved itself! That is a huge answer to prayer! He is still sedated and on the ventilator but we are weaning him slowly now. It seems we are on the uphill climb at least for today.

I have learned in this now, my second NICU journey that you don't count on anything and you don't plan either. It is an hour by hour journey or roller coaster ride as it is at times more approprietly called.

Some specific things to pray -
Jeremiah's peace and comfort.
Strength for mommy as I try to divide myself between four children at home that need me and one sick baby here that needs me. It is something causing me great pain today.
A room in the Ronald McDonald House here at the hospital. I would have all my children together within walking distance. I could see all of them every day. It would be such a blessing!
Protection for my family as we all travel the highways often right now.

Thank you for your love and support during this time. It means so much. I know that I am not returning every text or call or comment but please know that I read them and they uplift me and enable me to go the next step and take the next breath.

Thursday Morning Update

Well, Jeremiah had a really rough night and this morning we find him on the ventilator. His oxygen needs are very high and he has a chest tube in to remove some trapped air from his chest. They have him sedated now and he is resting. We are waiting to have the morning chest x-rays read and for the doctor to let us know how things look this morning. I will try to update more this afternoon.

Please just pray for my family and for our little Jeremiah.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah was born at 10:44am on Tuesday Novemeber 2nd.

He is beautiful and precious and unfortunately very sick, like his brother before him. He is in the NICU still and can't be held or touched. I haven't gotten to hold him yet but he loves to be talked to. I am blessed to be in the same hospital as he is so I can spend as much time as I want by his bed.

The doctors think it may be pulmanary hypertension or a restriction of the blood vessels between the lungs and the heart. This is making is oxygen exchange very difficult. A normal newborn resperation should be between 40-60 breaths per minute and Jeremiah is still hanging out at anywhere from 90 to 130. So he is much too fast and thus, he can't be stimulated. So, no touching or holding for awhile.

I ask you to pray for our family right now. This is hard as you imagine on each and every one of us. The children are stressed and worried. Joe and I are trying not to be for their sake but this isn't how it was supposed to be!!! But I know that my God is in control and as we all lift up Jeremiah God will give Him the strength he needs to fight this. In the mean time, I am pumping for him and sitting by his side. Just loving him! I will update as often as I can.